Why do you need … money? It would be quite strange to want money as such – for dreams of a certain amount there is always something more: the need for stability, freedom, happiness. Only by clarifying our expectations, we can “establish” relations with money.
When the client comes to “work out” the topic of money, it all starts with the question of their motivation to possess. Everyone responds to him differently, but everyone has a tendency to look for something more. People are waiting for them to bring calm, get rid of boredom, add joy.
The substitution of concepts is dangerous: a person begins to “hunt” not for that, losing sight of what is really relevant for him, his true need. Money continues to slip away, or, in the end, having taken possession of them, a person is disappointed: there is the right amount in the account, but what he was really looking for, she did not bring him.
Delusions about money inevitably lead to disappointment. To save yourself from it, it is important to separate the material from the intangible, and for this – to realize that we are actually looking for.
1. Stability
Looking for stability in money, we lose sight of that instability is one of the key features of our world. We create the illusion of stability: we try to find a job in a “solid” company, checking whether the bank is reliable before opening a deposit. But it is impossible to protect yourself from potential troubles: at any moment the crisis can burst, they can reduce us, we can suddenly get sick.
We are used to being afraid of uncertainty, we try to avoid it with all our might and sometimes we even hope to “pay off” from her
However, it is impossible to buy stability, history has repeatedly proved that money is not a guarantor of certainty. Everything may not go according to plan, and it is only important that we are able to get on our feet again and recover from financial shocks and losses.
2. Possibilities
You can often hear: “If I had more money, I would …”, “If only I had this amount, I would
certainly …”. So we become hostages of the situation and refuse to see opportunities right now. It is important to ask myself: what can I do at the moment without waiting for the best conditions?
Dreaming of a thing that we still cannot afford, we actually want to make up for a shortage of pleasant emotions. It is important to think about what exactly makes her so desired. What feelings you experience, imagining that you finally bought it? Is it possible to experience such feelings without waiting for the moment of purchase?
3. Happiness
The common truth, which many forget about: you can be happy with both money and without. Buddhist monks are necessary, but this does not prevent them from maintaining a feeling of happiness.
4. Approval of others
It seems to some of us that money will finally help us earn the respect of the father or approval of the mother, wipe the former’s nose, prove to others what we are capable of. But this is just the game of our mind, and, drawing into it, we extend the pain of rejection. The motivation to “prove” can be resource and not lead to disappointment if we prove something to ourselves, and not others.
5. Liberty
You can often hear: “I want money to travel more”. We are looking for freedom and we are afraid of stress, forgetting that we need to make efforts to earn. Any desire has a price, and it is important whether we are ready to pay – with our time, efforts, the ability to withstand tension, abandoning old habits.
Of course, money allows you to delegate business, releasing time, but even having got the right amount, you can remain not free, being in hostages of capital, obligations and circumstances. That is why you should not lay too much hopes on them and put off life until we finally earn money (we will accumulate, win the lottery, we will inherit the cherished amount.